Pet Owner Dramatist Pillows

"I laid new sod on my front lawn and a German Shepherd pooped on it. Then his dog showed up."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Dog Dressed to Eat

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

Good, but not Great Danes.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

Noah's Ark Book Shop has two doggie doors.

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

'Do you have to do that every time?'

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

When Pugs dream.

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"Tonight I'm going to bury this sucker so far underground he'll never find it."

Bad Dog

Cat Show - Sheds Most

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

"I'm retired now"