Puppy Performer Gifts

Pavlov's Dream.

Talking Dog.

"I love the sketch of the invisible owner!"

Will act like an idiot for food.

'Fallllling in heeeeeat agaaaaain

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

"Mum, I got the job!"

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

'Now cut that out!'

Sonata for Piano and Dog

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Finger puppets in church.

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

Ventriloquist Audition

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

He Did It!

Cookie Thief

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

'This is the way to do it.'

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

'Beware of Dog' sign next to accordion-playing canine.

"Leave my private parts alone, and I'll let you exploit me as a talking cat."

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

"Okay, I admit it. You are a good dog."

Hang Time Fido

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

'Brother John had discovered a loophole in the vow of silence'

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."