Canine Performer Gifts

'He has a flair for the dramatic when I ask him to play dead.'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Obedience School Graduation

His Master's Thesis.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

"Mum, I got the job!"

Dogs life

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

"I finally caught you... now what?"

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

'Hard to follow...'

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

"Wow, what a DILF."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'