Performer Pooch Gifts

"Mum, I got the job!"

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"The club scene is really changing."

Talking Dog.

Sonata for Piano and Dog

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

A cat rejects a dog performer's act.

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

'Fallllling in heeeeeat agaaaaain

Pavlov's Dream.

"I need an extra large mailing tube."

"Leave my private parts alone, and I'll let you exploit me as a talking cat."

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."

"Okay, I admit it. You are a good dog."

"I have no skills. . . only tricks."

'Let's switch sides. My feet are killing me.'

Will act like an idiot for food.

Music

"I love the sketch of the invisible owner!"

'He has a flair for the dramatic when I ask him to play dead.'

"Hey, we're working our asses off here!"

'What about the arts? I need to learn MORE than just obedience!'

'A jungle act that was abruptly cancelled during rehearsal one day.'

"I can't find his dog whistle anywhere."

The Curb Dog Club

Think we can sneak out? If I have to sniff one more butt, I'm gonna scream.

Show Business Canary.

"It says here there's a pug in Peoria that can play the harmonica."

'Well, that's unusual...'

"My mistress doesn't care if I drink out of the toilet as long as I put the toilet seat up."

He's a rescue.