Puppy Performer T-Shirts

Pavlov's Dream.

Talking Dog.

"I love the sketch of the invisible owner!"

Will act like an idiot for food.

'Fallllling in heeeeeat agaaaaain

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

"Mum, I got the job!"

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

'Now cut that out!'

Sonata for Piano and Dog

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Finger puppets in church.

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

Ventriloquist Audition

A cat rejects a dog performer's act.

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

He Did It!

'I think it's some kind of power point presentation.'

Cookie Thief

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

'Brother John had discovered a loophole in the vow of silence'

"You destination is around the next curve."

'This is the way to do it.'

"How's tricks?"

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

'Beware of Dog' sign next to accordion-playing canine.

"Okay, I admit it. You are a good dog."