Puppet Performer Gifts

'No, I am not talking to myself!'

'No one stole your act - and he won't appreciate being accused of doing so when he's not here to defend himself.'

Ventriloquist Audition

"I already regret buying him a phone. He won't stop texting me."

Where does it itch?

It's not you, it's me.

'Brother John had discovered a loophole in the vow of silence'

"He won't talk but I will!"

'This is the way to do it.'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'The good news is that we have doubled our staff without adding more space.'

Finger puppets in church.

'I think it's some kind of power point presentation.'

"Come on . . . talk!"

"And this is is my dominant hand."

A Puppet Named Juan

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

Leslie Caron.

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

'He does.'

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

A Punch and Judy Professor is visited by Death as a puppet.

"How about a hand."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

"Hi, kid! Did you watch 'Sesame Street' today?"

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."