Mystic Pup Gifts

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

Ill next Thursday

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

Amateur Palmist

'Naughty boy, I see you clawing my curtains.'

Hog Futures

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'Ha Ha! Stop seeing astrally and look behind you, Bob!'

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

The grim reaper (of humans) and the angel of death (for dogs) are foreshadowing the imminent death of a man and his doh.

Dyslexic Palm Reading

'I called them, and told them what you were going to do tomorrow! '

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"

"Don't even think about trying to teach me tricks. I'm not some sideshow freak who's here for your sick amusement."

"Covid again!"

'My, my, don't we look fetching.'

'Close your eyes, stick your paw out and say 'Merry Christmas'.'

'I've finished your horoscope, Bucky.'

"I can see that in your past life you were also a gullible schmo easily taken in by charlatans."

Nostrildamus.

Mystic's Diary

'Frankly, I can't really see the future, but I will sniff your hand.'