Philosophical Pup Ponderer Gifts

'!!X@#!! Reincarnation!'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

Chiller Theatre

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

Sauce for the Goose

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"I cross the road to forget."

"Is this who I am?"

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

Afraid of change - leave it here.

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."