Philosophical Pet Ponderer Gifts

"Wouldn't it be fascinating if dogs could read our thoughts? Or would it be horrifying?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Biofelineism

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Chiller Theatre

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"Needs to get a life"

Cat Reunion

"Yes, one is a dog."

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Sauce for the Goose

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Is this who I am?"

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"I cross the road to forget."

Afraid of change - leave it here.

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.