Pet Psychology Ponderer Gifts

"I don't believe I belong here."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Needs to get a life"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Max Weber

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

'White meat or dark?'

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

"Putting him on a diet was easy. Just hide a pill in his food and he'll never touch it."

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Caption Contest TK

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

Fish Food