Puppy Probability Ponderer Gifts

If you have 5 dogs, 3 will be asleep.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Thinking and thinking backwards.

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Human meat.

"Is there a God?"

'The hippiest dryads were often farouche.'

"Woah - random!"

'It's a real conundrum. Not sure if I should open it, or beat it.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

Answers to last week's brain-teasers

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

"I love the part when they scream, 'Hey! That's no log!'..."

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

Bizarre sights.

Fish Food

Walking on Water

The Big Four debate banking ethics