Canine Ponderer Gifts

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

Fish Food

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

'We're going on a little vacation, and we were wondering if you folks would mind taking care of Spot.'

"Shouldn't we hold off an artificial intelligence until we figure out actual intelligence?"

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

'I bark, therefore I am.'

Ken wandered home wondering what the lunar new year would bring. . . like every other man and his dog.

"Is it too late to get a puppy?"

"I'm beginning to think I'm the only one without a dog."

"Wait, THEY think WE'RE gross?"

'Mom, it's doing it again'

"Well, this is getting us exactly nowhere."

'You've been overfeeding the budgie again, dear.'

"We're not so different, you and I."

I Wonder if They can Think…

'Individually lemmings are fine, but get a bunch of 'em together and they'll head straight for the nearest cliff.'

'I don't have a dog or a cat. Why do you ask?'

"What do cats want?"

"That 'Love thy neighbor' part, does that include cats?"

If you have 5 dogs, 3 will be asleep.

'I'm not sure who the father is, I didn't get a look at his face'

"In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have called you 'Flash'. It just seems sarcastic now."

"Her name's Snuggles."

'I ask you: How can putting us in a glass bowl with plastic plants be entertaining to them?'