Pet Food Ponderer Gifts

'Psst! Wanna buy some people food?'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

'How is the water prepared?'

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

"The doctor will see you now."

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

If we reproduce fast enough, we'll outnumber everybody and take over the petri dish! Divide and conquer, eh?

Fish Food

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

"Who's next?"

'How would you like your steak, sir?' - 'Big.'

"Delivery."

Sensitivity Training For Bulls.

'Dr. Fenton discovers a new killer cell.'

'We're going on a little vacation, and we were wondering if you folks would mind taking care of Spot.'

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

Fruits and vegetables

This could be interesting...

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

'I bark, therefore I am.'

Square root of chicken is egg.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

'Milton, you really did make it to the other side!'