Poultry Ponderer Gifts

'Who was first?'

'I knew it! 'Chicken' comes first!'

"Who's next?"

This could be interesting...

'Unfotunately they're all dark meat.'

Square root of chicken is egg.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

"You're all on rations, due to the ironic rise in the cost of chicken feed."

"Just my luck. . . I buy a chicken farm and the rooster turns gay!!"

"I don't mind being butchered. But I can't stand the thought of my legs going in one box, my breast in another, my wings in another. . ."

'Happy Xmas!'

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

'...The bad news is that we'll be eaten by people who eat organic...'

Meat eating man faced with gigantic chicken

'Until we had our own chickens, we just felt like tacit supporters of the whole Military-Poultry-Complex thing.'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'Milton, you really did make it to the other side!'

'Which came first, the chicken or the egg?'

It wasn't exactly Henry's idea of Chickens Heaven...

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

"So, has anyone figured out why we're all wearing sunglasses."

"Here's what I don't get – we don't even have fingers."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"Get out of my face!"

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'White meat or dark?'

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

Human meat.