Parrot Ponderer Gifts

'He's made of polly-ethelene.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'White meat or dark?'

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'If only Darwin could have seen this!'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

Human meat.

"OK, now you've gone back too far."

Mankind

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

Walking on Water

Fish Food

'Now that's just low-down mean.'

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

"I love the part when they scream, 'Hey! That's no log!'..."

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"Who's next?"

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

The Origin of Species

This could be interesting...

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

'I bark, therefore I am.'