Parrot Ponderer T-Shirts

Believe it or not, I was always so turned off by that whole condescending "Polly want a cracker?" thing that I never actually tried one. Are they good? !!!

'He's made of polly-ethelene.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'White meat or dark?'

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

It was worth a try, but I'm afraid the thrill is still gone, Harold.

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

Human meat.

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'If only Darwin could have seen this!'

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

"OK, now you've gone back too far."

"I love the part when they scream, 'Hey! That's no log!'..."

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

Fish Food

'Now that's just low-down mean.'

Mankind

Walking on Water

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"Who's next?"

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

The Origin of Species

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

This could be interesting...

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

Historic Moments in Human Evolution