Porpoise Ponderer T-Shirts

"How do they expect us to write back?"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wildlife

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

"This blood knot ought to be re-named the blood, sweat and tears knot."

Business Duck

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"I can't wait to start growing limbs so that I can use a tablet..."

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

Ricochet

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'White meat or dark?'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

Human meat.

'If only Darwin could have seen this!'

"OK, now you've gone back too far."

Fish Food

"I love the part when they scream, 'Hey! That's no log!'..."

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."