Pigeon Ponderer T-Shirts

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

Wildlife

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

Business Duck

"This blood knot ought to be re-named the blood, sweat and tears knot."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"I can't wait to start growing limbs so that I can use a tablet..."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

Thinking and thinking backwards.

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

New York Scatological Society

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"Is there a God?"

'The hippiest dryads were often farouche.'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'It's a real conundrum. Not sure if I should open it, or beat it.'

Human meat.

Answers to last week's brain-teasers

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

Bizarre sights.

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."