Piglet Ponderer T-Shirts

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

The Fourth Little Pig

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'White meat or dark?'

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

Human meat.

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

Ham-Dram

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

"I love the part when they scream, 'Hey! That's no log!'..."

Fish Food

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

Walking on Water

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"Who's next?"

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

This could be interesting...

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

'I bark, therefore I am.'

Square root of chicken is egg.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

'Milton, you really did make it to the other side!'

"We're not so different, you and I."