Piglet Ponderer Gifts

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

The Fourth Little Pig

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'White meat or dark?'

Ham-Dram

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

Human meat.

"I love the part when they scream, 'Hey! That's no log!'..."

Walking on Water

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

Fish Food

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"Who's next?"

Elevator Repair School. First thing, forget the old saying "What goes up, must come down"!

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

This could be interesting...

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

Square root of chicken is egg.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

'I bark, therefore I am.'

'Milton, you really did make it to the other side!'

"I don't mind being butchered. But I can't stand the thought of my legs going in one box, my breast in another, my wings in another. . ."