Pork Ponderer T-Shirts

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I feel bad about eating them...but they're so yummy."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wildlife

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

Business Duck

"This blood knot ought to be re-named the blood, sweat and tears knot."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"I can't wait to start growing limbs so that I can use a tablet..."

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'

Vernal Pond: Here today. . . gone tomorrow.

Fish Food

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"Who's next?"

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

"Why don't you paint a picture – it'll last longer."

'I'm in way over my head in this pond!'

Peter's Natural Principal: 'I'm way over my head in this pond!'