Pumpkin Ponderer T-Shirts

'I explored all of my career options and found sitting on a porch was more rewarding than becoming a pumpkin pie.'

The Ekert Saga: '...So I thought you should know...even for Danae it seemed a little weird.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"OK, I've emptied my mind and cleared my head...what now?"

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"Who's next?"

"I think I'm allergic to peanuts."

"I feel like a hallow shell of my former self."

"What d'you say we try sneaking out before the last one?"

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

Sensitivity Training For Bulls.

"I wonder if he's talking to me?"

This could be interesting...

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

Square root of chicken is egg.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

"You're all on rations, due to the ironic rise in the cost of chicken feed."

"I don't mind being butchered. But I can't stand the thought of my legs going in one box, my breast in another, my wings in another. . ."

'Happy Xmas!'

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

'Milton, you really did make it to the other side!'

'I love the smell of spring!'

"Which one of us is me?"

'All these heads are kind of gross aren't they? What if we collected pottery or something?'

'Eddy Penguin? I'm not sure, officer... Can you desctibe him?'