Pet Fish Ponderer Gifts

"This is a mind-altering experience."

'If the Earth is 3/4 water, what are we doing here!'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Happy thoughts

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

The Old Dun Cow - Bitter & twisted.

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

Fish Food

'I'm a Pisces.'

"Hah, good luck to them when they try to flush THAT!"

'Think he'll ever spring for the bowl?'

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

'We're going on a little vacation, and we were wondering if you folks would mind taking care of Spot.'

"How's that whole 'thinking outside the bow' thing working out for you now?"

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

"We find it calms the patient."

'I bark, therefore I am.'

"Is it too late to get a puppy?"

"I'm pretty sure the alcohol neutralizes the gluten."

"I'll drill a hole in the side and we'll be FREE!!"

'You've been overfeeding the budgie again, dear.'

"I'm beginning to think I'm the only one without a dog."

'Well, how many pints do you weigh?'

"We're not so different, you and I."