Pet Fish Whisperer Gifts

'We really should get around to visiting that sometime.'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Licensed Therapist

"No no, I said sit!!"

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Barks in code.

"Quick, start the car!"

Local Knowledge

Bite out of fishing pier.

'You lifted your head.'

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"