Pet Fish Ponderer Pillows

"This is a mind-altering experience."

'If the Earth is 3/4 water, what are we doing here!'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Happy thoughts

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

The Old Dun Cow - Bitter & twisted.

Fish Food

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

'Wow! They don't even bother giving you notice anymore before they fire you!'

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

"Hah, good luck to them when they try to flush THAT!"

'Think he'll ever spring for the bowl?'

"How's that whole 'thinking outside the bow' thing working out for you now?"

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

'We're going on a little vacation, and we were wondering if you folks would mind taking care of Spot.'

'I'm a Pisces.'

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

"We find it calms the patient."

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

'I bark, therefore I am.'

"Is it too late to get a puppy?"

"I'm pretty sure the alcohol neutralizes the gluten."

'Well, how many pints do you weigh?'

"We're not so different, you and I."

"I'm beginning to think I'm the only one without a dog."

"I'll drill a hole in the side and we'll be FREE!!"