Psychology Ponderer Gifts

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'

"I utilize the best from Freud, the best from Jung and the best from my uncle Marty, a very smart fellow."

"Why do you always get to be 'half-full' and I have to be 'half empty'!?"

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"Young man, you're the only one who bothered to stop!"

Man reading problems of perception upside-down.

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

"Someday, this will all be yours."

'I was good my whole life. And for what?'

"If I can control everyone around me it would help my damaged self esteem."

'Diary of a mad hoarder. Day one...'

Interesting, blames it all on his mother, yet seems reluctant to identify her.

The Collective Unconscious

Max Weber

"We are not under siege, Your Majesty. You just have a siege mentality."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

Spectroanalysis.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

'Don't you find watching people relaxing?'

This is a really big bogie...

Look at that big fat man!

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

Bipolar bear.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Upside Down Sundae

'So, you're a banker? And how long have you been withdrawing?'

'I've come down for a lie down - I've been in retail therapy.'

"Could I be PATHOLOGICALLY normal?"

"The dotted line is my self-esteem."

"And this deep-seated delusion that you're basically a good person... did that start in childhood?"

"The best thing about visiting a hospital is that you see a lot of people who are much worse than you. That usually cheers me up."

"Sentencing...my gut feeling is disembowelment...but my head says decapitation."