The Ponderer Gifts

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

Shakespeare was bisexual

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Needs to get a life"

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.