Philosophy Ponderer Gifts

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

Reinforced Concrete

"Sure, I follow the herd- out of a deep respect for the concept of community."

'You can take it with you, but we have to notify your alumni association.'

"Wherever you go, there you are."

No Evil

'Honey, when you grow up I want you to be assertive, independent and strong-willed. But while you're a kid, I want you to be passive, pliable and obedient.'

'What do you mean it's wrong? In Ethics we learnt that the truth is always objective!'

An enlightenment seeker heads back from Truth lookign shocked.

Heaven- A Gated Community

I have not lowered my standards...I've just set more realistic goals...'

'Children, this is your new science teacher.'

'It was either an earthquake or another paradigm shift.'

'We are the last Dodos on the planet, so I've put all of our eggs safely into this basket...'

"Good news-I hear the paradigm is shifting."

'Reality. It's been my one terrible blind spot for years.'

"Well, that's done!"

Stegosaurus (say the evolutionists). Nonsense (say the creationists).

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"What's the takeaway on all this?"

'I was motivated by greed, but I blame that on the workplace culture.'

"I don't get it."

Women carrying signs, one says 'The end is near!', the other says 'The end is not near!' The caption reads 'But aren't we fortunate to live in a society where differing views are tolerated?'

"An elephant is like a brush."

Guy at the gates of heaven but has to go through a maze to get there

National Paradox Foundation: We're closed come in.

"Before you grade my test, you should know about my Theory of Life's Imprecision."

'Life Cycle'

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

'Yet here we are, exactly the same!'

"Rememeber Son, money can't buy happiness, but it pays for a lot of anti-depressants"

Just when I think I've got everything figured out some jerk asks basic questions phobia. 'Why?'

"I'll be answering that question and many more in next week's webinar."

'We never forget you have a choice.'

"Scram!"