Pet Owner Ponderer Gifts

"That 'Love thy neighbor' part, does that include cats?"

'Yeah, I read somewhere that people started to look like their pets after a while...'

'I ask you: How can putting us in a glass bowl with plastic plants be entertaining to them?'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"And where have you previously moused?"

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Dog Nightmares

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Haute Suture

'Super Dog'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

No caption (In the first frame a dog rides in a car with his head hanging out the window. The dog is smiling. In the next three frames the view gets progressively closer to his ear, until on the fourth frame a closeup is shown of a flea on the dogs ear. He too, is smiling).

The day the cat realized it was dependent.