Existential Pooch Ponderer Gifts

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

reincarnated worm...

'Hamlet'

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

Psychologist's receptionist to man: 'I'm afraid I cancelled your appointment - the doctor has decided you don't exist.'

Dreams I have had...

"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! … Emerson" "Good boy!"

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

Warning: Metaphors for impending doom next 5 miles.

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

Flea Philosophy.

I think therefore I am.

'If a man talks in the forest and there's no one around to hear him, is he still wrong?' 'He is a man, isn't he?'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

"Darlin', I finally figured out the true meaning of life. It's a well=worn chair, a nasty old pipe, cheap brandy and a moth-eaten dog with a sphincter problem."

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."