Existential Ponderer Gifts

"You ever have flying dreams?"

"Now that I'm here, could you tell me what that was all about."

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

Philosophy Department: You are Here...But why?

'A life coach? What the hell do you want a life coach for?'

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

The secret thoughts of smart machines.

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

Day in, day out, dodging traffic, dashing back and forth. And for what? Nuts. My whole life wasted on a bunch of nuts.

"Fat, bald and incontinent. Life seems to have dealt us a glancing blow."

"This lovely car has not brought us happiness. You agree, Morris? That is why I am now thinking in terms of having the entire house recarpeted."

After achieving his biggest accomplishment, Fido struggled to find a new sense of purpose to his life.

Career Path.

'Day for day I feel more and more empty!' (toothpaste tube in analyst's couch).

'What would I do if I only had one day left to live? That's a good question. Why do you ask?'

"Once you've been caught in the headlights life seems somehow inexorably changed."

'I wouldn't say I was lost, it's more of a disaffected malaise.'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

"I could cry when I think of the years I wasted accumulating money, only to learn that my cheerful disposition is genetic."

Man sees sign: 'Quiet Desperation Zone'.

'To be or not to be - well yes, but what about coma, trance, vegetative states, reincarnation, near death experience, cryogenics?'

'They're still waiting for Godot.'

'Ever wonder if the shelf life date stamped on your side is a typo?'

"If you're thinking of evolving, don't bother."

In the game of life...there is no time out.

I don't think...and yet here I am.

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

'Look at all those millions upon millions of stars.' 'Yes... Makes you realize how insignificant a star is.'

'Do you ever catch yourself wondering if this is all part of some crazy experiment?' (God looking at Earth through microscope)

'Sometimes I just feel like I don't know HOO I am.'

'If a man talks in the forest and there's no one around to hear him, is he still wrong?' 'He is a man, isn't he?'

I think therefore I am.

It's just going to continue and continue.

Forget it. It's too late.

'Existence Ends Ahead' sign.