Existential Ponderer T-Shirts

"You ever have flying dreams?"

"Now that I'm here, could you tell me what that was all about."

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

Philosophy Department: You are Here...But why?

'A life coach? What the hell do you want a life coach for?'

The secret thoughts of smart machines.

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

Day in, day out, dodging traffic, dashing back and forth. And for what? Nuts. My whole life wasted on a bunch of nuts.

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

"This lovely car has not brought us happiness. You agree, Morris? That is why I am now thinking in terms of having the entire house recarpeted."

After achieving his biggest accomplishment, Fido struggled to find a new sense of purpose to his life.

"Fat, bald and incontinent. Life seems to have dealt us a glancing blow."

Career Path.

'What would I do if I only had one day left to live? That's a good question. Why do you ask?'

'I wouldn't say I was lost, it's more of a disaffected malaise.'

'Day for day I feel more and more empty!' (toothpaste tube in analyst's couch).

"Once you've been caught in the headlights life seems somehow inexorably changed."

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'They're still waiting for Godot.'

'Do you ever catch yourself wondering if this is all part of some crazy experiment?' (God looking at Earth through microscope)

'Ever wonder if the shelf life date stamped on your side is a typo?'

"I could cry when I think of the years I wasted accumulating money, only to learn that my cheerful disposition is genetic."

In the game of life...there is no time out.

'To be or not to be - well yes, but what about coma, trance, vegetative states, reincarnation, near death experience, cryogenics?'

'Look at all those millions upon millions of stars.' 'Yes... Makes you realize how insignificant a star is.'

I don't think...and yet here I am.

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

Man sees sign: 'Quiet Desperation Zone'.

'But this is ridiculous. I don't believe in the here after.'

It's just going to continue and continue.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Tombstone in a cemetery with a epitaph that reads "Why me?"

He Watched Sports

'Sometimes I just feel like I don't know HOO I am.'

"My entire life flashed before my eyes, and I was folding laundry half the time."