Eternal Ponderer T-Shirts

'Well, so much for survivalism.'

'Put my tv here and my armchair in front of the fire.' 'Has anyone spoken to you about the, 'Can't take it with you' clause?'

Damned if you do...

'Hamlet'

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

reincarnated worm...

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

Dreams I have had...

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

Psychologist's receptionist to man: 'I'm afraid I cancelled your appointment - the doctor has decided you don't exist.'

"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! … Emerson" "Good boy!"

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

Warning: Metaphors for impending doom next 5 miles.

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

I think therefore I am.

'If a man talks in the forest and there's no one around to hear him, is he still wrong?' 'He is a man, isn't he?'

Flea Philosophy.

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

"Darlin', I finally figured out the true meaning of life. It's a well=worn chair, a nasty old pipe, cheap brandy and a moth-eaten dog with a sphincter problem."

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'