Existence Ponderer Gifts

"If I knew the meaning of life, would I be sitting in a cave in my underpants?"

"Look if I have to explain the meaning of existence, then it isn't funny."

Standup... Nihilist

That Socrates was an idiot. Not only is the unexamined life worth living, but there's more time to enjoy it without all that stupid introspection.

'Would it be worse if I died young and healthy or old and decrepit?' - 'Hmmm...' - 'How about young and decrepit?' - '' - 'Why are you here, again?' - 'To help you brainstorm.'

Hell for Positive Thinkers

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

'Hamlet'

reincarnated worm...

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Dreams I have had...

Psychologist's receptionist to man: 'I'm afraid I cancelled your appointment - the doctor has decided you don't exist.'

"But what if this is all there is?"

'I'd hire you, but the word is going around you guys are practically extinct!'

"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! … Emerson" "Good boy!"

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'