Immortality Ponderer Gifts

Welcome to Eternity - please wait here indefinitely.

'Oh, sure-- we're immortal SO FAR.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I'd hire you, but the word is going around you guys are practically extinct!'

"But what if this is all there is?"

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"You think it's tough down there?"

"Are you sure I 'can't take it with me'? I brought some for you."

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"I haven't seen you up here before. When were you uploaded?"

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."