Mortality Ponderer Gifts

"But I've filed an extension."

The Last Meeting.

"Was that the tea trolley or a death rattle?"

"Donald always turns to the obituaries first then, if he's not listed, he reads the rest of the paper."

'Hello, my name is Death'

'But I miss all the funerals we used to go to.'

'Here's a certificate you don't have yet.'

Go Now, Pay Later/Pay Now, Go Later!

Death stocks a cigarette vending machine.

A Reasonable Time For Concern - 'Hello Crematorium?'

'I get that a lot. I'm just big boned.'

"Grave rage, Vicar, we get a lot of it now"

"You took your time!"

His on his final journey.

Death's Humble Origins

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

"Leave the light on, I want to see you."

"So sad - she had a facelift just three months ago."

"You know, Mother, they say dead is the new 80."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Death coach..."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."