Modern Mortality Ponderer Gifts

"Mind if I clear my browser history first?"

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

Truth

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

'Hello, my name is Death'

Bowther, Wilkin, Lynch & Fisk

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

"You know, Mother, they say dead is the new 80."

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'You know the rules, Mr Dotterill - you're only allowed one visitor at a time.'

'If we didn't live so long we wouldn't eat so much!'

Go Now, Pay Later/Pay Now, Go Later!

"Remember when we used to flock together, instead of just tweeting all day on line?"

'Is this really where we wanted to be at this stage of our lives?'

Standup... Nihilist

'Would it be worse if I died young and healthy or old and decrepit?' - 'Hmmm...' - 'How about young and decrepit?' - '' - 'Why are you here, again?' - 'To help you brainstorm.'

'Oh, sure-- we're immortal SO FAR.'

Officer Worker Evolution

"You took your time!"

"David Bowie, dead. Keith Richards, alive. Makes no sense."

'You are daydreaming all the time. When are you going to mature?'

"Grave rage, Vicar, we get a lot of it now"

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

The Last Meeting.

'Here's a certificate you don't have yet.'

His on his final journey.