Modern Mortality Ponderer Gifts

"Mind if I clear my browser history first?"

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

Truth

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

"You know, Mother, they say dead is the new 80."

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

Bowther, Wilkin, Lynch & Fisk

'Hello, my name is Death'

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'You know the rules, Mr Dotterill - you're only allowed one visitor at a time.'

'If we didn't live so long we wouldn't eat so much!'

Go Now, Pay Later/Pay Now, Go Later!

"Remember when we used to flock together, instead of just tweeting all day on line?"

'Is this really where we wanted to be at this stage of our lives?'

'He's going through a phase of wanting to be a grape again.'

'Would it be worse if I died young and healthy or old and decrepit?' - 'Hmmm...' - 'How about young and decrepit?' - '' - 'Why are you here, again?' - 'To help you brainstorm.'

"You took your time!"

"David Bowie, dead. Keith Richards, alive. Makes no sense."

That Socrates was an idiot. Not only is the unexamined life worth living, but there's more time to enjoy it without all that stupid introspection.

'You are daydreaming all the time. When are you going to mature?'

Officer Worker Evolution

Standup... Nihilist

'Oh, sure-- we're immortal SO FAR.'

"Grave rage, Vicar, we get a lot of it now"

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

The Last Meeting.

His on his final journey.

"Yes, even with all the progress they're making in geriatrics, marriage is still 'til death do you part."