Immortality Ponderers Gifts

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Ten Commandments

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

"You think it's tough down there?"

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"Are you sure I 'can't take it with me'? I brought some for you."

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"Great, now we're lost."

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

Newton Discovers Surrealism.