Afterlife Ponderers Gifts

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

"The last thing I remember is hearing the doctor say oops!"

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"Maybe it wasn't such a smart idea for you to have left everything to science."

Notice In Heaven - THINK POSTHUMOUSLY

I have some really bad news for you.

"I'm not sure how to tell which of the 48 Smiths killed on the bus headed to the 'I can't believe we're all named Smith' reunion are going to heaven or hell."

"You quit smoking, you ate healthy food, you were sporty....and then you got run over by a bus. Nobody can say that I don't have humour!"

angel: 'My old regret is, I didn't go now, pay later.'

'I suppose that it was inevitable.'

'God wants to see you.'

"Going up or down?"

Man reading a FAQ while the grim reaper waits.

'It will interest you to learn that your bank denied my credit application for reasons of character.'

Angel wears t-shirt in Heaven with the logo: YOLO (You Only Live Once)

"Oh, this? I don't really use it for anything - it's just part of the marketing shtick."

"I croaked. How about you?"

"Okay, I accept the fact that I'm doomed to spend all eternity in hell, but could I serve my time without the company of disgraced Evangelicals and television preachers?"

"Ah, here you are. . . someone's been waiting for you."

"There was a bright light and then a voice said: 'our menu has changed'."

'What's the pass-word?'

I'm glad prescription drugs are free but I never thought we'd need them here.

This is your hell. Keep it clean.

Angels smoking outside of the gates of heaven.

I.D. required for admission to Heaven

'It lights up when your judgement's ready.'

'I put your name down for hell and you've been provisionally accepted.'

Hog Heaven: 'So, this is when pigs fly...'

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

St Peter's close...

John? John Kovaleski?? Well, I'll be damned twice!

Oddly enough, the salsa is kinda mild here.

His urn is half-full. The eternal optimist.

"Oh yeah – They really are forever – Cool huh?"

"Whoever dies in Vegas, stays in Vegas."