Longevity Ponderer Gifts

"Yes, even with all the progress they're making in geriatrics, marriage is still 'til death do you part."

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Death coach..."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"My father was a Brexit negotiator and his father before him..."

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

Baxter finally gets a life

Wally dozes off in the middle of his mid-life crisis.

"I'm having trouble with my long-term memory -- I can't remember my earlier reincarnations."

"In a former life, I was exactly the same."

"Last time I saw you, you were just a baby."

"... and finally, to my children I leave the four mosquitos and the horsefly in the top left corner."

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

"You know, Mother, they say dead is the new 80."

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

"I burden you with the national debt, you burden your kids with it, and so on. . ."

What you want in life is sometimes out of reach.

Think we knew each other in a past life, Randy? I don't believe in past lives. In fact, I don't believe in the past. Or the future I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight? ... Sorry, that's Randy's line #42. Reflex. Wait, let me write that down.

The big life questions that really get us thinking.

"I don't get this whole age thing...I waited all year to turn nine, but now I don't feel any older!"

'Hello, my name is Death'

'I've turned another corner in my life.' 'One more corner and you'll be back where you started.'

Horatio T. Osborn, born 1787, died 1852, greatness thrust upon him 1825.

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'You know the rules, Mr Dotterill - you're only allowed one visitor at a time.'

Clement Attlee