Aging Ponderer Gifts

30th Birthday - Doctors aren't like policemen.. they don't grow younger, they just age faster.

"Could someone please explain to me why I'm celebrating the fact that I'm a year older?"

Tunnel of aging

"They say you're only as old as you feel. Behold the oldest woman on the planet."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'At least I don't have his life.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

After the summer holidays

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Retirement Issues

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

What's 'Bitcoin'?

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'