Age Ponderer Gifts

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

Life's Little Punch Card Your Tenth Decade Is On Us!

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

"I don't get this whole age thing...I waited all year to turn nine, but now I don't feel any older!"

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

"my people are like 70 in human years."

The Jeopardy of Progress

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

Sex Education

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

Retirement Issues

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'