Life-and-death Ponderer Gifts

'You know the rules, Mr Dotterill - you're only allowed one visitor at a time.'

Doubtful death.

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"But what if this is all there is?"

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"Death coach..."

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

"Are you sure I 'can't take it with me'? I brought some for you."

Dante's Undiscovered Prequels

"You think it's tough down there?"

Lost and Profound.

Baxter finally gets a life

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

Truth