Doomsday Ponderer Gifts

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Optimist

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

Experts through the ages.

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"You think it's tough down there?"

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

Dante's Undiscovered Prequels

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

"I'll have dessert first."

'I say we try it.'

"Are you sure I 'can't take it with me'? I brought some for you."

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.