Apocalypse Ponderer Gifts

'Today he was told about Global Warming.'

No Easy Answers

'At least we won't have to worry if our pension plans are any good.'

"Do you suppose there's life under other rocks?"

Future world records

Cycles of evolution and destruction

"Now remember not to give away the big surprise!"

'I wonder what they're waiting for.'

The World Ends Tomorrow! REPENT! Soup of rhe day...Joe's Diner: Bean

"Given what passes as normal nowadays, I doubt I'd even recognize the apocalypse if it came."

Extinction T-Rex

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'But what is the universe for?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Why bother?"

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

The Origins of Everything

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

'I'd hire you, but the word is going around you guys are practically extinct!'