Resurrection Ponderer Gifts

"Well, that's one in the eye for doubting Thomas!"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

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'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I'll have dessert first."

'I say we try it.'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"How long has he been missing?"

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

'What did He do before he was God?'

Jesus wept

The End is Near.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

Various Birds of Pray.

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'Hello, my name is Death'

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

"You know, Mother, they say dead is the new 80."