God Ponderer Gifts

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'Please take your receipt!'

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

'I say we try it.'

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'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I'll have dessert first."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Confusionism'

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

Tree of Knowledge/Tree of Evolution

Fortune teller sees impending doom

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

Jesus wept

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

"How long has he been missing?"

'What did He do before he was God?'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

The End is Near.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Soren Kierkegaard

"I'll have whatever they're having."