Divine Ponderer Gifts

Bob finds God's wallet, and for one crazy moment, considers keeping it.

'Entropy already? You just made it.'

"That's just so God."

'I was afraid of this -- the evolution protocols are just confusing them.'

"No offense, but some of these could be construed as pretty extreme denial"

Gods plan for the shape of the world goes askew

'What kind of God would let things like this happen?'

Jesus wept

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I say we try it.'

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"I'll have dessert first."

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

Fortune teller sees impending doom

'What did He do before he was God?'

The End is Near.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

"I'll have whatever they're having."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'