Godly Ponderer Gifts

Struck Down by Lightning.

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I'll have dessert first."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

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'I say we try it.'

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Confusionism'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Fortune teller sees impending doom

'What did He do before he was God?'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

Tree of Knowledge/Tree of Evolution

Jesus wept

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

"How long has he been missing?"

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

The End is Near.

Soren Kierkegaard