Theological Ponderer Gifts

"We need either bigger needles or smaller camels."

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

'I made the mistake of thinking the manager of a Christian bookstore wouldn't have a gun.'

Freedom in Jesus and Security in Legalism

Yeah, I believe in a creator, but I'm not so sure about intelligent design. Epic Tale by Donna Doolil. Bob's Hat. A novel by Joe Poolz.

'...God is recalling all mankind...'

'Technically speaking, though, isn't Eve under age?'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Chiller Theatre

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"I cross the road to forget."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Is this who I am?"

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'